LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD

While I’m having technical difficulties, (my next two featured guests have been delayed) let’s take a look at this Grimm's fairy tale. Maybe we can see how it relates to women.

Remember, Little Red Riding Hood, (LRRH) was going to see her grandmother. I don’t know where her mother was maybe she was sick and had to send LRRH to her mom’s, but anyway. She had to go through the forest. The WHAT? Yes, the forest. Pump the brakes a minute. Did you say that a little girl was gong to have to go through the forest, alone, to her grandmother’s house? Yes, that’s what I said.

Well, okay so let’s look at the forest. During the summer, the forest is lush and green, in the winter, it’s cold and bare, much like the elements of the real world. You can not see through the forest to the other side, and that’s a major problem. If you manage to see some distance it’s distorted by all the trees. To get through it you have to rely on your instincts, unless you come prepared with a compass.

Like the world, the forest is not always a safe place. There are animals, some of which are afraid of you and some that are not. Those that aren’t will challenge you, for example, the wolves, badgers, bobcats and the like. Because LRRH had on bright red, she was automatically a target like many women are today. For a little girl, this is not the place you want to be, but there she was headed to her grandmother’s house. A utopia where she would find love, peace, and contentment, again much like what most women want.

Further in the story we see that LRRH meets up with a wolf on the way to Granny’s. The wolf tries to talk her into all sorts of things, but LRRH is strong in her spot. She refuses because she knows that better things are waiting at Granny’s. When she gets to her grandmother’s house, who she thinks is Granny is not, it’s the wolf who meets her at the door. Immediately, she senses something is wrong with her grandmother.

Now, Oprah calls this the 'pebble moment', that thing that ultimately grows into a stone, then a brick, then a boulder before you see it for what it is, and it smaps' you in the head/heart. I like to think of it as a Red Flag, an audit term. The flag comes up real quick, and then it’s gone. Until you resolve the issue the flag will keep popping up until it doesn’t go down at all, and remains there until it’s resolved. By the time it’s obvious to everyone a violation has occurred and people start going to jail and paying back money.

In either case, this is the moment most women ignore and what I want to focus you on, but first I’ll finish the story.

LRRH asks Granny several questions which shows that she has a deeply rooted insecurity about herself and her decision making ability. She doesn’t trust her instincts. She doesn’t believe herself and she continues to turn and ask the very one she’s doubtful about if they are really who they say they are. Typical of most women, “Are you lying to me?” Are you cheating?” And of course, they continue to tell her what she wants to hear.

To top it all off, with this doubt and uncertainty abounding for LRRH she SITS down with the questionable character, and sups with him, the ultimate disregard of self and reality. A trait I parallel with female victims of HIV and AID’s who are sometimes victims of men on the “Down Low.”

In any case, I wanted to break this fable down for you to show you that as women we have to learn just who we are so that we are aware of our vulnerabilities.

Generally speaking, most women are innately emotional beings. We see that confirmed in the article by the doctor in my previous post.

On top of that, I feel as black women we have to be particularly careful because we are so grounded spirituality by the church. We learn very early in life that we should be nice, good girls, helpers, doers, and all that goes with that. By the time we are women we want to exude this deep spiritual persona that, “…when you see me, you see a kind, warm hearted spirit…” which is nice, don’t get me wrong, but it can help to lull the average girl into believing that everyone is going to perceive that in her and honor it, and that’s where the problems come in, because most of the world won’t.

Most women aren’t able to balance their feeling of helping and serving with the reality that there are wolves out here ready and willing to devour them. Most women are caught off guard when conflict arises and its ugly head is right in their face. Most women are taken aback by the mere unmitigated gall of being disrespected and disregarded.

For example, in a previous blog post I talked about fear and how anger is often the direct result of fear. Well, that’s true and the reaction we often see and hear from women who are confronted with some kind of injustice is their loud combative response, often coupled with a gyrating neck and an attitude, that comes out at the wrong time and place. And that's because most women can not believe what is happening to them. I know I couldn’t. I didn’t think I would have to fight for my job or anything else at the level I did. I thought all I had to do was be good, and I would succeed. I was conditioned that way. I thought I needed to get my education, do well in school, learn a lot of course, and the rest would take care of it self. HA!

When I initially posted this blog and told women about it, one lady said, “Oh yeah, I’ll check it out, but none of my friends and I are anything like that.” I said ok, but I wanted to say YET. This is all about the FIGHT. When and what will you fight for, ladies?

When I was contemplating writing to you about LRRH, I happened to watch a film called American Violet. AV is based on a real story about a woman who was falsely arrested for selling drugs. She was a good mother, and a hard worker who just happened to be impoverished. Girlfriend started out nice and refined, but as time went on and things started breaking down because she was in jail, remember through no fault of her own, she began to lose it.

The focus on when she lost it is key to me. She didn’t lose it when her boss had to fire her. She didn’t lose it when she couldn’t fix herself up because she was in jail. No, she lost it when she learned that her mother released her children to their father, because the father had a girl friend that had been either accused of, or convicted as a sex offender. When the father wouldn’t release the children to her and/or her mother, that’s when girlfriend lost it. She climbed up on his truck and showed out.

Now, don’t think I’m advocating physical violence, but what I want you to see is that the average woman, given the right set of circumstances will fight. And who knows what she might do if she’s not prepared.

And that’s okay because guess what? God wants us to fight. He wants warriors. When He said put on the whole armor of God, He didn’t restrict that to men, women were included too.

There are of course different variations of concerns. They differ from individual to individual, and circumstance to circumstance, but no matter how you slice it, you will fight. If you have any passion in you at all, you’re going to be put to the test. The question is, will you sink or swim.

There’s not going to be any time for you to worry about running your favorite Wolford’s in the process. You’re not going to be able to do lot’s of easy things like curse, or pull a gun, or break a cars windows, no none of that. But will you be ready if your heart has been broken, your good name tarnished? I could go on and on. Will you be ready to go to war? The thing is will you know how.

Click on next week when I give you a few pointers on how to fight and win the war, because in life there will be tribulation.

This post is syndicated and copyrighted.