Dear Followers:
This week I want to focus on having a strong love walk. What is a love walk? A love walk is how you connect with others on a daily basis. Are you showing love to people? Are you SMILING at the people you come in contact with as you go about your day? Smiling helps you to connect with people in a loving way. If not, you may appear self-absorbed. By not realizing that those around you need to see you smile, you hinder yourself and them. So why not, put smiling on your New Year’s resolution to-do list.
Just a simple smile can enhance your love walk tremendously. By smiling I have gained entry into so many doors that I would never have thought possible. I often ask my self why. What is so powerful about a simple facial gesture that gets people on your side?
The thing is that strangers don’t know you so when you smile at them it breaks the ice. It gives both of you common ground, a beginning. There’s a sense then that no one is angry, no one is different. We are both coming from a place of peace and joy, no matter what may be going on. Just that simple connection can be enough to bring you and the world together and that’s what you may need especially at a time when things aren’t going well at all.
My featured guest this week knows the value of having a sincere smile. Her name is Ber-Henda Williams. A Ber-Henda, is Germanic and Greek in origin and means Bear Hearted Protector. As a Ber-Henda, Ms. Williams exudes a protective spirit that is kind and gentle, but also passionate.
Fluent in Spanish Ms. Williams writes her poems in Spanish and says the Spanish language adds richness and zeal to her work. She is the author of MEMOIRS of the HUMAN EXPERIENCE and EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN, Vol. 1. She is also the host of POETRY, PAGES, AND SCRIBES, www.poetrypagescribes.com, where she and others create a lyrical sound garden of verses and conscious thought.
You can find Ms. Williams at the Southfield Public Library in Southfield, Michigan on the first Thursday of every month. There, Poetry, Pages and Scribes provides an “Open Mic” experience that features a different performing artist every month. However, this is not just a platform for poets and their aficionados. Instead it is for singers, musicians, and storytellers as well. Over the last two years the show has featured some of the most promising stars in the metro area’s cultural community by celebrating a diverse cross section of artists, making Thursday nights at the Southfield Public Library anything but typical. This month Poetry, Pages, and Scribes celebrates its third-year anniversary so please go out and support them.
Ms. Williams has been writing poetry well over a decade and she is the former host of The Eargasm Artistic Collective at Bert’s Jazz Club in the Eastern Market of Michigan. She has performed at many venues throughout the Metro-Detroit area that include, The Key Club and The Plymouth Book Cellar for the Honors Series. Ms. Williams is also the former host of The Honey B Chronicles a former radio broadcast for the University of Detroit Mercy. It was a program of music, art, community, and world information.
I am proud to introduce you to her because of her love walk. And as she puts it, “…I have sistah girl tendencies but for the most part, I try to put out the love I want in return. I go the extra mile to love harder, when I feel bad. It’s easy to make life about what has hurt me and what has made my path rocky, but the true test is to forge ahead and smile and be nice anyway.”
Ms. Williams goes on to say …she walks in love everyday because there is no other way for her. Love is the ruling force of our lives so we should make love often. Love is the elixir of life. Our words are powerful but even stronger still are our thoughts; for they carry a frequency and charge that moves faster than light and sound. We have all power from the Almighty to be conduits of love. Therefore, we must be Christ-like in all we say and do. I want to be a lover so I love when it hurts. That is how I heal.
By sharing just this little bit about how she thinks and behaves gives us all unlimited insight into what can work to keep us from letting our anger get the best of us. We all thank you for sharing this with us Ber-Henda Williams and keep up your love walk!
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Thursday, December 17, 2009
My First Featured Guest Adilah Barnes
Dear Followers:
My focus today is on eliminating fear. Jesus tells us repeatedly in the Bible, “Fear Not,” and we should not fear anything. God is not the author of fear. Where there is fear, there is no faith. The two cannot exist together.
I find that anger is almost always based on some type of fear. However, fear does not always promote anger, especially if you know how to channel it. I’ve chosen to feature a very special guest who handled her fear positively so it never turned into anger. She overcame her fears through education and hard work, and she never gave up.
Her name is, ADIILAH BARNES. Ms. Barnes agreed to allow me to share an experience she had as a child with you in hopes that it might encourage you, no matter where you are in your life’s journey.
But first to tell you about her,
Ms. Barnes is the author of “ON MY OWN TERMS, ONE ACTOR’S JOURNEY” which was named an ESSENCE MAGAZINE bestseller for 2009. It was also nominated for the 2009 African American Literary Award and the XLIBRIS Publisher’s Author Spotlight.
Ms. Barnes performs in the internationally-toured historical one woman show, “I AM THAT I AM, WOMAN, BLACK”, where she portrays several African American women, Sojourner Truth, Harriet Tubman, Mary Bethune, Zora Neale Hurston, Lorraine Hansberry, Angela Davis, and Maya Angelou. The show has toured three continents, North America including the Caribbean, Africa, and Europe.
Ms. Barnes is an accomplished actor, educator, producer, author and literary retreat proprietor. You may recognize her from her five seasons on ABC’s ROSEANNE, and recent appearances on the current television shows, THE MIDDLE and COLD CASE. Her other television credits include GILMORE GIRLS, ROSWELL, THE AGENCY, FAMILY LAW, CITY OF ANGELS, ANY DAY NOW, SUDDENLY SUSAN, and MAD ABOUT YOU.
Her film credits include MURDER BY NUMBERS where she played opposite SANDRA BULLOCK, and the award-winning ERIN BROCKOVICH where she played opposite JULIA ROBERTS. She also appeared opposite VING RHAMES in the Hallmark movie, LITTLE JOHN. Her list of credits goes on spanning a 40 year period.
In addition, Ms. Barnes has coached many well known actors, including Toni Braxton, Jada Pinkett-Smith, Benjamin Bratt, Kym Whitley and she is listed in THE ACTOR’S GUIDE TO QUALIFIED ACTING COACHES.
She also co-founded the LOS ANGELES WOMEN’S FESTIVAL, and THE WRITER'S WELL, an international literary retreat for women writers that has welcomed guests from as far away as Ghana.
She is a graduate of the University of California, Santa Cruz where she was elected to serve on the Alumni Council for seven years. I am happy to introduce her to you and feature her as my first guest.
It is almost apparent to see just by reading Ms. Barnes list of accomplishments that she has never let fear stop her. For example, I was surprised to learn that as a child she was stricken with petit mal epilepsy. To this day, Ms. Barnes does not know exactly what caused her to have epilepsy which resulted in her having seizures. At the time no one took her to the doctor to find out what caused them. It could have been because of the cost of medical care, a lack of understanding about the severity of the disease, and/or denial. Instead, she was dismissed as, “having fits”.
When I heard her experience I realized that she had to have had some degree of fear during this time in her life. Not knowing where she would be when the seizures might strike or what she might be doing, must have made her feel very vulnerable. But, thankfully, Ms. Barnes was guided to a Physician’s Desk Reference book and was able to self-diagnose her condition. Knowing there was a name for what she was experiencing gave her understanding and made her realize that she was not alone. Other’s too had the disease.
Ultimately, Ms. Barnes was able to overcome her illness and her fear of the unknown through education. With the support of Project Upward Bound in high school, Ms. Barnes was nurtured and guided to the field of theatre and was able to find her true love and purpose which enabled her to become an actor.
Although it may be typical of most young people to start out with big dreams, it’s very seldom that they fulfill them as she has. Through perseverance and hard work, she sends us all a message that we too can prevent fear from hindering us and pursuing our dreams.
Ms. Barnes says, “I am a testament that it is possible to begin as an ashy-kneed little chocolate country girl and to go on to reach some measure of success. My ingredients have included passion, honoring my God-given gifts, faith, and surrounding myself with those who believed in me.”
For more on Ms. Barnes inspirational journey, please visit her book’s website at www.OnMyOwnTerms.net.
My focus today is on eliminating fear. Jesus tells us repeatedly in the Bible, “Fear Not,” and we should not fear anything. God is not the author of fear. Where there is fear, there is no faith. The two cannot exist together.
I find that anger is almost always based on some type of fear. However, fear does not always promote anger, especially if you know how to channel it. I’ve chosen to feature a very special guest who handled her fear positively so it never turned into anger. She overcame her fears through education and hard work, and she never gave up.
Her name is, ADIILAH BARNES. Ms. Barnes agreed to allow me to share an experience she had as a child with you in hopes that it might encourage you, no matter where you are in your life’s journey.
But first to tell you about her,
Ms. Barnes is the author of “ON MY OWN TERMS, ONE ACTOR’S JOURNEY” which was named an ESSENCE MAGAZINE bestseller for 2009. It was also nominated for the 2009 African American Literary Award and the XLIBRIS Publisher’s Author Spotlight.
Ms. Barnes performs in the internationally-toured historical one woman show, “I AM THAT I AM, WOMAN, BLACK”, where she portrays several African American women, Sojourner Truth, Harriet Tubman, Mary Bethune, Zora Neale Hurston, Lorraine Hansberry, Angela Davis, and Maya Angelou. The show has toured three continents, North America including the Caribbean, Africa, and Europe.
Ms. Barnes is an accomplished actor, educator, producer, author and literary retreat proprietor. You may recognize her from her five seasons on ABC’s ROSEANNE, and recent appearances on the current television shows, THE MIDDLE and COLD CASE. Her other television credits include GILMORE GIRLS, ROSWELL, THE AGENCY, FAMILY LAW, CITY OF ANGELS, ANY DAY NOW, SUDDENLY SUSAN, and MAD ABOUT YOU.
Her film credits include MURDER BY NUMBERS where she played opposite SANDRA BULLOCK, and the award-winning ERIN BROCKOVICH where she played opposite JULIA ROBERTS. She also appeared opposite VING RHAMES in the Hallmark movie, LITTLE JOHN. Her list of credits goes on spanning a 40 year period.
In addition, Ms. Barnes has coached many well known actors, including Toni Braxton, Jada Pinkett-Smith, Benjamin Bratt, Kym Whitley and she is listed in THE ACTOR’S GUIDE TO QUALIFIED ACTING COACHES.
She also co-founded the LOS ANGELES WOMEN’S FESTIVAL, and THE WRITER'S WELL, an international literary retreat for women writers that has welcomed guests from as far away as Ghana.
She is a graduate of the University of California, Santa Cruz where she was elected to serve on the Alumni Council for seven years. I am happy to introduce her to you and feature her as my first guest.
It is almost apparent to see just by reading Ms. Barnes list of accomplishments that she has never let fear stop her. For example, I was surprised to learn that as a child she was stricken with petit mal epilepsy. To this day, Ms. Barnes does not know exactly what caused her to have epilepsy which resulted in her having seizures. At the time no one took her to the doctor to find out what caused them. It could have been because of the cost of medical care, a lack of understanding about the severity of the disease, and/or denial. Instead, she was dismissed as, “having fits”.
When I heard her experience I realized that she had to have had some degree of fear during this time in her life. Not knowing where she would be when the seizures might strike or what she might be doing, must have made her feel very vulnerable. But, thankfully, Ms. Barnes was guided to a Physician’s Desk Reference book and was able to self-diagnose her condition. Knowing there was a name for what she was experiencing gave her understanding and made her realize that she was not alone. Other’s too had the disease.
Ultimately, Ms. Barnes was able to overcome her illness and her fear of the unknown through education. With the support of Project Upward Bound in high school, Ms. Barnes was nurtured and guided to the field of theatre and was able to find her true love and purpose which enabled her to become an actor.
Although it may be typical of most young people to start out with big dreams, it’s very seldom that they fulfill them as she has. Through perseverance and hard work, she sends us all a message that we too can prevent fear from hindering us and pursuing our dreams.
Ms. Barnes says, “I am a testament that it is possible to begin as an ashy-kneed little chocolate country girl and to go on to reach some measure of success. My ingredients have included passion, honoring my God-given gifts, faith, and surrounding myself with those who believed in me.”
For more on Ms. Barnes inspirational journey, please visit her book’s website at www.OnMyOwnTerms.net.
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Everybody Gets Angry Not Just Black Women
Dear Followers:
Check out this article I found on the Web. Yes, it’s about anger. Not just black women get angry! You know that. The thing is that often we have been stereotyped as having such a bad attitude that nobody wants to deal with us.
I started this blog to try and help live that down through awareness. I’ve asked women to come on here and talk about how they have overcome diversity and not just gotten angry about things. If you read the article it will tell you that those that are getting angry the most are WOMEN!! That’s because we’re emotional and well some other reasons but I’ll save those for future posts.
It’s kind of funny how people have used this notion that we (black women) are so angry. We’re no angrier than anybody else. The thing is that no body can deal with our anger because they know deep down inside, we have every right to be upset.
That’s what I want you to remember, DON’T LET THEM OFF THE HOOK. When we show anger, with a gyrating neck and an attitude, it let’s everybody who could straighten up have an excuse not to. I say don’t give them that. You can be as upset about things as you want to be but don’t let them see you sweat, smile. And for heaven’s sake Never, I mean Never, let them hear you curse.
Stay tuned I’ve got more on how to do this, and I’ve got help from other women. And by all means please comment.
Okay so here's the article...
Anger is more likely among the young, those with children at home, and the less educated, a new study finds.
A national survey of 1,800 Americans aged 18 and older questioned participants on how and when they feel angry
in order to build "a broader social portrait of anger in the United States," said study researcher Scott Schieman,
now at the University of Toronto. These angry emotions range from mild annoyance to yelling and feelings of outrage.
While anger is a normal human emotion, it could be detrimental if you hold on to it too long. And those who express their anger might actually live longer than those who keep it bottled in, one study found.
The results of the survey, conducted in 2005 and to be published next year, showed several key connections to anger.
For one, people under 30 experienced anger of all forms or intensities more frequently than did older adults.
This was mainly due to the fact that young people are more likely to be affected by three core stressors that can trigger
angry feelings, Schieman said:
• Time pressures
• Economic hardship
• Interpersonal conflict at the workplace
Time pressures had the strongest link to anger, especially low-grade versions termed "feelings of annoyance," the study found.
Those who were under financial strain tended to report higher levels of anger, a connection that could be particularly important
in today's flagging economy, Schieman noted. The financial influence tended to be stronger among women and younger adults.
Having children was also associated with angry feelings and behaviors, such as yelling, particularly in women, the survey found.
"There's obviously a lot of joys and benefits that come with parenthood," but other aspects of parenting, such as having to
discipline a misbehaving child, can cause feelings of anger and annoyance, Schieman said.
Those with fewer years of education were also more likely to report feelings of anger and were less likely to respond proactively
in a situation that made them angry (for example, talking about what made them angry).
"It underscores the power of getting more education," Schieman said. Education has been linked to feeling more self-control,
which could be why those with more education tend to manage their anger more proactively, he told LiveScience.
Schieman's findings will be detailed in a chapter of the forthcoming International Handbook of Anger, to be released in January 2010.
• The Happiest States in America
• 7 Thoughts That Are Bad For You
• 10 Easy Paths to Self Destruction
• Original Story: Study Reveals the Angriest Americans
LiveScience.com chronicles the daily advances and innovations made in science and technology..
Check out this article I found on the Web. Yes, it’s about anger. Not just black women get angry! You know that. The thing is that often we have been stereotyped as having such a bad attitude that nobody wants to deal with us.
I started this blog to try and help live that down through awareness. I’ve asked women to come on here and talk about how they have overcome diversity and not just gotten angry about things. If you read the article it will tell you that those that are getting angry the most are WOMEN!! That’s because we’re emotional and well some other reasons but I’ll save those for future posts.
It’s kind of funny how people have used this notion that we (black women) are so angry. We’re no angrier than anybody else. The thing is that no body can deal with our anger because they know deep down inside, we have every right to be upset.
That’s what I want you to remember, DON’T LET THEM OFF THE HOOK. When we show anger, with a gyrating neck and an attitude, it let’s everybody who could straighten up have an excuse not to. I say don’t give them that. You can be as upset about things as you want to be but don’t let them see you sweat, smile. And for heaven’s sake Never, I mean Never, let them hear you curse.
Stay tuned I’ve got more on how to do this, and I’ve got help from other women. And by all means please comment.
Okay so here's the article...
Anger is more likely among the young, those with children at home, and the less educated, a new study finds.
A national survey of 1,800 Americans aged 18 and older questioned participants on how and when they feel angry
in order to build "a broader social portrait of anger in the United States," said study researcher Scott Schieman,
now at the University of Toronto. These angry emotions range from mild annoyance to yelling and feelings of outrage.
While anger is a normal human emotion, it could be detrimental if you hold on to it too long. And those who express their anger might actually live longer than those who keep it bottled in, one study found.
The results of the survey, conducted in 2005 and to be published next year, showed several key connections to anger.
For one, people under 30 experienced anger of all forms or intensities more frequently than did older adults.
This was mainly due to the fact that young people are more likely to be affected by three core stressors that can trigger
angry feelings, Schieman said:
• Time pressures
• Economic hardship
• Interpersonal conflict at the workplace
Time pressures had the strongest link to anger, especially low-grade versions termed "feelings of annoyance," the study found.
Those who were under financial strain tended to report higher levels of anger, a connection that could be particularly important
in today's flagging economy, Schieman noted. The financial influence tended to be stronger among women and younger adults.
Having children was also associated with angry feelings and behaviors, such as yelling, particularly in women, the survey found.
"There's obviously a lot of joys and benefits that come with parenthood," but other aspects of parenting, such as having to
discipline a misbehaving child, can cause feelings of anger and annoyance, Schieman said.
Those with fewer years of education were also more likely to report feelings of anger and were less likely to respond proactively
in a situation that made them angry (for example, talking about what made them angry).
"It underscores the power of getting more education," Schieman said. Education has been linked to feeling more self-control,
which could be why those with more education tend to manage their anger more proactively, he told LiveScience.
Schieman's findings will be detailed in a chapter of the forthcoming International Handbook of Anger, to be released in January 2010.
• The Happiest States in America
• 7 Thoughts That Are Bad For You
• 10 Easy Paths to Self Destruction
• Original Story: Study Reveals the Angriest Americans
LiveScience.com chronicles the daily advances and innovations made in science and technology..
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